on Macquarie Street
week had been a sleazy one in the NSW politics racket and many people
were feeling nervous in Macquarie Street. There were rumours that Bruce
George "Pretty Boy" Baird was in town as an emissary from
John Winston "The Godfather" Howard.
say Pretty Boy's mission is to organise the numbers to toss Kerry "Chika"
Chikarovski from the leadership of the local mob.
not so many months ago, some of the biggest boys from the big end of
town had backed Chika -- The Godfather himself, Fairfax chairman Brian
Powers, the Macquarie Bank boys, Rod McGeoch -- but that was before
the election, and the election was a disaster. Now they wished they
had stayed with Peter "The Bantam" Collins.
was a lame duck. She had failed to smash the rival mob and she could
never stack up against Bob "The Fixer" Carr. She was a loser
and she had to be "retired", as they say in the game.
goes to show how wrong the marketing wankers can get it, with their
daily phone polling and focus groups and concept products.
the deal went down, Chika was just a marketing strategy, a sales pitch,
a glossy package. She was like one of those muscular plastic war toys
with missile launchers for arms and rockets for feet. Five minutes after
you give them to the kiddies, the legs have been ripped off, the batteries
go flat, and the kiddies are back in the yard pushing a brick through
the dirt making roads, or throwing stones at the cat.
she is just a nasty embarassment for the little group behind her coup
-- John Howard, Peter Debnam, Mike Gallacher, Malcolm Kerr, Chris Hartcher,
Barry O'Farrell, Mark "Lenin" Textor and Charlie "Motivator"
Lynn, who runs treks over the Kokoda Trail for top businessmen and members
of the Liberal Party, including Chika, who made the trek in '97.
needs a lame duck and they didn't need her back-room boy, Remo "Numbers"
end will be brutal and sudden when it comes, and they say it will be
in the next three months. If your duck goes lame, you shoot it. Journalists
who ask after Chika will be met with confusion and a failure to remember.
If they persist they will be told she's gone to Paris, to sip coffee
in cafés and "rediscover herself as a woman".
Boy was a shrewd choice for the mission. Once he was Ampol's chief political
lobbyist. He was Minister for Roads under former mob boss Nicholas "The
Hungarian" Greiner. After Nick was deposed, Pretty Boy went off
to run the Tourism Council.
who knew anything about The Libs knew who they wanted for the top job
-- it was Barry Robert "Fatty O'Barrell" O'Farrell.
of idle interest I got out the O'Farrell file. According to the papers
presented with his nomination for selection for Liberal candidate for
the seat of Northcott, back in '95, he was now just 40 years old and
educated in Darwin. He had a BA from the ANU ("Majors: Australian
history, politics, Aboriginal studies"), was a member of Rotary
(naturally), a former broadcaster on Radio for the Print Handicapped
(worthy), a JP (ditto) and had been "Active in student politics
while at university" (wasn't everybody?). It all seemed pretty
his links with Pretty Boy and The Godfather couldn't have been closer.
He had been "Chief of Staff" to Pretty Boy for four years
and then "Private Secretary" to The Godfather for three. His
wife, Rosemary, had been Pretty Boy's "Electorate Secretary"
for three years. Fatty was at pains to point out his closeness to Pretty
Boy, and he had glowing references from Gerard "The Tyke"
Henderson, John Valder, and somebody called "The Hon Robert Webster".
Paris will be a neat solution for Chika. She has been back on the singles
beat for a couple of years now. Paris will be a swinging scene in the
years to come. The Soeharto kids will be there in force and Paul Keating
will fly in regularly. There will be many wild parties and quiet afternoons
on the boulevard and Macquarie Street will seem like a bad nightmare.