desperate choice for desperate times
would you like to be that John Conde from 2UE, I mean what's he going
to do now?" Joadja asked.
It's a horrible range of choices. Things were pretty bad at 2UE between
Jonesie and Lawsie before all this happened. Imagine how bad they'll
be now. A dirty coffee cup left behind in the studio could touch off
World War Three".
it isn't just between them. What about Mike Carlton? He started off
defending Laws and pushed the line about how Laws was just an entertainer,
and now he's changed tack and dropped them both in it. Reckons both
of them were greedy.
would need to be enhanced with an adverb, but you're right, both of
them are going to hate him", I said, twisting the top off another
each hate the other and they'll all hate the ABC. I reckon Conde will
be under pretty intense pressure to get rid of either Jonesie or Lawsie".
Laws looks like the way to go. I mean he's getting on now, and I suppose
he'd have been thinking of retirement sooner rather than later ... and
he's the more expensive of the two, by a long shot".
but trouble is, Laws has The Voice", Joadja said, "That authoritative
soothing voice that sold products with its extravagant sincerity. There's
no doubt the famous tonsils sold billions of dollars worth of ads for
2UE. Jones has nothing much in the voice department ... querulous, harrying
if Laws goes, much of the advertising might depart with him?"
Jones is younger, has more years ahead of him, but on the other hand
he's the one who seems to have raised more political hackles. Politicians
from both the major parties will finally have an excuse to jack up on
him: 'Sorry, the minister isn't available this morning he has a meeting
with the departmental working party on the Dubbo mouse plague'. They'll
become very brave".
arguably, Jonesie's the more accident-prone of the two."
Like the time he featured a top-secret KGB document in his column in
the Sun Herald and it turned out that it came straight out of
a Frederick Forsyth potboiler -- he got sacked over that -- and there
was the abject failure of Alan Jones Live, which came at a bad
time for Channel 10". It was all coming back to me now.
was that wonderful joke about Alan Jones Live?"
rings up his mate, and he says 'Mate, Mate! You'll never guess what's
just happened. I was watching Alan Jones Live and there's a knock
on the door and I answer it and it's Pamela Anderson and she's only
wearing a pink bow and she hands me a cheque for five million dollars
and kisses me -- Mate, I've won Lotto!' And his mate says 'Don't bullshit
me ... nobody watches Alan Jones Live'".
And remember his campaign to establish the innocence of the Manly hotelier
Andrew Kalazich, the bloke who hired a hitman to murder his wife? That
led to an official inquiry which cost us all a packet. I wonder if Alan
was remunerated for it?"
his celebrated arrest in the London public toilet."
now that you look at it, if I was Conde, I'd sack Jonesie and take my
chances with Lawsie's health. A desperate choice for desperate times."
'keep the dream alive' for a few more months. Hope everybody forgets."
a bunch of losers ... as they say down at 2UE."